Well, the day has come. It’s Tuesday, October 20, 2009. This is the day I officially leave the ACP. I had always planned on my retirement being a little unorthodox. But how might I do that? Well, mostly by not listing a buncha names. And there will probably be no retirement song.
Anyway, I see no particularly good way to start this, so I will just restate the fact that yes, I am retiring from the army of Club Penguin. I finally decided that I was going to do it a few days ago. I’m not going to go and say stuff like, “I’m way too old for this,” or, “I’m far too busy.”
I guess, in a nutshell, I retire now because I’m tired of waiting for a good time to retire.
Yeah, you see, I had always wanted to retire when I was in some great position. And I decided many months ago that Lt. General wasn’t good enough. Unfortunately, here I am at the same rank. I was briefly a general, of course, but then I went right back down in a matter of weeks. I had also wanted to retire in a time of, you know, peace and prosperity, like the kind you get after a major war. The only problem was, no war has been major enough for that. Peace isn’t even considered “good” anymore, because we have too much of it. Well yeah, what I’m trying to say is that I would have liked to retire right after a great victory. Not at a time where I was just…bored.
I mean, a few days ago, I decided that it really was getting boring to go on chat all the time. I didn’t even feel like checking the site. And ya know something else? Somehow, many of the battles that were scheduled contradicted my seemingly empty schedule. It doesn’t make too much sense. I’m not that busy.
(Note: I’m a bit frustrated at how unorganized this post is.)
My computer time has become pretty limited over the years, thanks to my parents. (Not a bad thing, really.)
Plus, the fact that I’ve been in this army for over 2 years was starting to creep me out.
But for now, let’s forget the reasons why I’m retiring. Because I guess I’ve come pretty far.
So how did my existence in Club Penguin armies go forth? I’ll tell ya.
THE HISTORY OF TOMTWELVE
Once, long ago…and by that I mean July 2007. I discovered the site of a small army. Who knows what they were called. But they did have some support. Anyway, it was there that I found out about the UMA. Dun dun dunnn. This small army was an enemy against UMA. And using the logic of a CP Armies noob, I determined that UMA was evil, even though I knew nothing about them.
Though how I stumbled upon the ACP is a blur. I remember finding the RPF site… I bet they told me about ACP. Well, anyway, the post I saw on the ACP site was this one. Basically, this post was very exciting to me. So I was going on Mammoth, fighting with the ACP…but I was actually standing outside of the group. For some reason, I didn’t feel like joining. I just wanted to fight UMA at that point. But then some guy came and told me to join, so I did.
Now hold it right there, I just want to point out something. That was the middle of the day, and we were just in the Dojo fighting. The leaders weren’t even there. You probably see what I’m getting at there–we were on Club Penguin all the time. And even if we do that now, it’s just ACP on a server. Back then, it was multiple armies on the server at the same time. I don’t even really know how everybody fit in the room.
Anyway, back to the story of Tomtwelve. I was excited to be a part of ACP. I went on Club Penguin, and the great part was that the army would often be there. Chat wasn’t really important at that point. I fought through the rest of WWIII, and well…I never actually was at a battle when we lost.
Wars continued to take place. But there was also the occasional invasion of Mammoth. Yes, I know what you’re thinking: We already owned that server. But the invasions were what you now call “recruiting,” I guess.
At some point, the ranks were reorganized, and I received the rank of colonel, I think…Anyway. Stuff continued to go well. There are some conflicts that I can not forget. For example, Oagalthorp once wrote the history of ACP, and in that history, he wrote of UMA’s past, too… Well they were mad, and we had to deal with some moron named…Lect or something. I mean, how annoying.
And there was also that one war against the nachos… Oh man that was fun to read. By that I mean, Oagalthorp and AkaBob were arguing the heck out of each other. And it was being done through the ACP and nacho sites, so yeah, pretty entertaining.
So of course, Oagalthorp retired eventually, with Fort taking over as leader. Now with Fort, we had promotions much more regularly. And wars much LESS regularly. Now this was fine with us, really. Cause I was rising through the ranks. Yeah, who knew I’d regret this change much later on?
(Note: I realize that I am giving a history of ACP here, but these are good memories for me!!)
Anyway, the events that took place at the end of the Fort era were crazy.
Oh, but uh…I ought to tell you that at this time, I became the Club Penguin news guy on the ACP site! Woo!
But as I was saying, crazy stuff happened. I’m gonna make this clear, though. Fort gave the rights to Oagalthorp to choose the new leader. Yes, he gave written permission to Oagalthorp… So Oagalthorp narrowed it down to two candidates, from which he would choose. Rapidy and…
WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?
Nah, that wasn’t my actual reaction. On the comments of that post, I debated with Rapidy, but our opinions didn’t seem to be too different, and the debate was not firey at all. In the end Rapidy would have became leader…except Fort decided to choose Nono before Oagal announced his decision. And it all went downhill from there.
In a series of crazy events, Kg eventually became leader. His era was short. Then there was Shab, who was elected. …Uh, I’m not gonna say anything about that. But at some point, my author position on the site MYSTERIOUSLY VANISHED!!! The mystery still remains…WHY??
Yeah so after more conflict, Boomer became leader, and I consider him to be the best since Oagalthorp.
But after his time, problems occurred again with the next leaders, which is why I have something to tell you.
CHOOSE THE NEXT LEADER CAREFULLY.
Ok, so now that I told you the history of myself, I have some more stuff to say.
WHY WE’RE BRINGING RELIGION INTO THIS
Now, on chat, there was a time when Saint suggested that my retirement would be funny because I’m Mormon. Now, the way Saint has been talking as if Mormons are super-different has started to make me a little mad… But still, I thought that a Mormon retirement would be a good idea.
But how would I do that? Do I “sing” a hymn? Do I quote scripture? Maybe I should just tell you guys like, everything about Mormons, because you people don’t seem to know much. But nah. What I should tell you, and must tell you, because many of you know nothing, is that our real name is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (yeah you can see why people gave us a nickname, though they could’ve just stuck with LDS…). And in case you didn’t realize this (cough cough) we friggin only have ONE WIFE!! Yeah, I could tell you like, everything about the religion, but this post is long enough already. But besides the fact that are standards are higher than the average person, we’re pretty normal.
Ha ha, check out this video that was made by Mormons!! You wouldn’t even know if I hadn’t told you…heh heh.
OTHER RANDOM STUFF
Yeah I’ll be bored and go on chat, of course. I always have to go there and brag about how like, a Colorado team just won (BRONCOS ARE 6 AND 0, BABY!!!!) or like, act like a noob, or like, tell you what I’m listening to.
I had ideas for ACP, if I ever became leader. I thought of how I could get us more wars, and make us more organized at the same time. The answer became to make the government more like that of the United States’, where it is actually not the president that declares war. However, since a certain conflict known as the Barbary Wars, the president has emergency war powers, which allowed him to declare war whenever he wanted. But he has to report back to congress within 90 days. I thought about basing our army on that system, and have a whole constitution. But hey, oh well. I don’t know if that would’ve worked. But who knows how long I’d have to wait to see.
Yeah so, sinners who have never played Zelda, go do that.
If you haven’t heard Paramore’s new album Brand New Eyes, go buy it.
And you should come to Colorado some time, because it’s awesome here.
And once again, the Broncos are 6 and 0, so…eat it.
And now I’m trying to think of some way to close this out dramatically, but I got nothin.
So…PEACE OUT, FOOLS!
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